I could go to my grave perfectly happy if I NEVER heard any on these songs again.

I'm not saying they're BAD, I just really, REALLY never need to hear them again.

 




OLD TIME ROCK AND ROLL

This one just had to lead off my list. I've been sick and tired of this song since about 5 minutes after it was released. Easily one of the most overplayed songs out there. I hate to point this out to you Bob Seger fans out there, but ol' Bobby hasn't been putting out rock and roll since Night Moves. (Alright, I'll give you Feel Like a Number, but that's it)
Any time a post-70s Seger tune comes on the radio I'm changing the station, but when I hear those first couple beats of this one my hand moves to the dial faster than Lindsay Lohan grabbing a doobie. The truth is Old Time Rock and Roll should never be played again on a radio station that isn't a Top 40 format or better yet, has "Majic" in its name. The worst part about this thing is that it is IMPOSSIBLE to attend a wedding reception and NOT have to listen to this. As a bonus you can watch all the greyhairs hit the dance floor and shake their sagging bootys.

All you DJs out there, listen up. Destroy every copy you have, or donate them to the old folks' home. We've heard it already.

Here is my version:
Just take my old walker off the shelf
So I can get on the stage all by myself
I take my daily dose of Geritol
And sing my geriatric rock and roll
Call me a fudddy duddy
Call me grampa Bob
I got a locator on my key fob
Turn signal's always on, that's how I roll
Now here's some geriatric rock and roll

FREEBIRD

HO-LY CRAP!!
I had a hard time not making this the first on the list because THIS is the song that recently INSPIRED ME to create this particular webpage.
This song is EXACTLY what I am talking about. It's really a very good song, but enough already.
Over the holidays I was out at the local pub having a nice refreshing beer and the DJ asks for requests. Some drunken redneck twenty-something slurs out "FREEBIRD!". About three minutes into it is when I decided to do this list. On the way out I told the DJ "Don't ever play Freebird again."
Two days later I'm at a different pub and guess what some idiot plays on the jukebox?
On the walk home I stepped into pub #1 again, just long enough to tell the DJ "Don't ever play Freebird again" again. He threw his hands up and said "I didn't!"
The dudes that like to hear this song imagine it is some kind of anthem, a celebration of their life, or at least where they are at in their life right now. "I may be shit-faced drunk in a bar at two in the afternoon, and my girlfriend may have left me, but this bird you cannot CHAAAAaaaAAAAAaange!!"
My friends, this song is the sonic equivalent of the three wolf moon t-shirt.

Three Wolf Moon

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'